


What Makes You Happiest

by themadmage



Series: Focus on Trans Characters [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Gender Exploration, Questioning, Ron has Foot in Mouth Disease for a moment but would he be fourth year Ron if he didn't?, Trans Harry Potter, Triwizard Champion Bonding, Yule Ball (Harry Potter), gender euphoria, transfeminine character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-02-19 00:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22668829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadmage/pseuds/themadmage
Summary: Harry tries something new for the Yule Ball, and grows closer with the other Champions in the process.
Relationships: (so none), Canon Yule Ball dates with Canon Levels of attached Romance
Series: Focus on Trans Characters [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1655239
Comments: 22
Kudos: 391
Collections: HP TransFest 2020





	What Makes You Happiest

Harry’s heart sped up as McGonagall, having said her piece, swept from the room at an unhurried pace. The other champions took their own steps to leave before Harry spoke up, voice just a bit more brittle than usual. 

“Fleur?” 

The Beauxbatons champion turned a disinterested eye towards Harry, no doubt anticipating being asked to the ball. Harry knew that most of the boys in the school - including Ron - had already made fools of themselves over her. Harry had different intentions, however. “You know about... fashion, right?”

Fleur blinked in surprise, and Harry worried for a moment that Fleur _wasn’t_ interested in fashion. Because of course Harry knew there were plenty of girls whose interest in the topic was passing at best - Hermione and Ginny just to name two. But asking Fleur for advice had seemed safe enough. Not only was she gorgeous - and her Veela heritage certainly played a role, but a person had to _do_ something with what they were given - but she was also French. Lavender and Parvati’s fashion magazines all came out of France, as far as Harry could tell from a few stolen looks. 

“ _Oui_ , I do enjoy fashion.” She looked Harry briefly up and down, bringing a flush to Harry’s cheeks that refused to be denied. “Does your date need advice?”

“No.” Harry fought to stay calm. _Obviously_ the situation was going to need explaining. That was what practicing in front of the mirror had been all about. This conversation was just coming a bit sooner than Harry had expected, what with McGonagall pulling all of the champions aside, and now it was far too late to take it back. “I don’t actually have one yet. It’s- Er, it’s for me. The dress robes that Mrs. Weasley bought me are nice, you know, a bit plain, but I was hoping to wear something a bit _different_.”

The look in Fleur’s eyes turned less dismissive and more appraising. It wasn’t acceptance, yet, but a hint of a smile turned up the corners of her mouth so Harry counted it as a win. “Different, how?”

“A dress.” Harry forcibly brought her eyes up from where they wanted to fixate on her toes. “I thought it might be… neat.” Harry finished lamely.

“You wish to wear a dress?” Fleur asked, her tone colored with mild curiosity but a blessed lack of scorn. Harry didn’t know what else to say, so she just nodded. Fleur responded with a firm nod of her own. “I will help you. Come to the carriage on Thursday evening, after dinner, and bring the formalwear that you do have.”

Harry stammered out her grateful agreement as Fleur glided out the door. 

“Good for you, mate.” Cedric clapped Harry on the shoulder as he spoke, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin. She’d half-forgotten that Cedric and Viktor were there, focused on Fleur as she had been. “Do what makes you happiest, right?”

Harry nodded awkwardly as Viktor grunted in what seemed like agreement. Unsure what else to say, Harry took her leave with a sudden urgency before she could embarrass herself.

The time between Sunday, when McGonagall had spoken with the champions, and Thursday’s meeting with Fleur was much too long, in Harry’s opinion. More and more, as the week crawled by, she found herself only half-tuned in to her classes or to conversations with friends. Hermione was starting to look at her like she couldn’t decide whether to lecture her or drag her to Madame Pomfrey.

When the day finally arrived and Harry was able to make her excuses, she practically fled to the Beauxbatons carriage with her dress robes and shoes carefully tucked in her school bag to ensure no part of them showed and somehow gave her away. The door to the carriage flung open as soon as she knocked to reveal an exuberant girl who looked to be about eight or nine years old and shared Fleur’s silver-blonde hair and delicate features.

" _Gabrielle! Si c'est Harry, alors reviens!_ "

" _Oui! Nous sommes en route!_ "

Harry swallowed nervously and followed Gabrielle as she gestured her in, hoping that the entire visit wouldn't be spent listening to conversation she couldn't understand. 

The inside of the carriage was larger than the outside, but it still took only moments for them to arrive at Fleur's room. "Harry! _Bonjour!_ Come inside, come. Gabrielle, close the door. Sit on the bed. Harry, have you met my sister?"

"No, not properly. ‘Lo, Gabrielle," Harry said with a half-shrug and a wave.

Gabrielle waved back to Harry's hesitant greeting, but Fleur cut in before her younger sister could say a word. "Did you bring the robes?" Harry nodded, and held out her bag to Fleur who practically snatched it from her hands before pulling out the bottle green dress robes and holding them against Harry's face. "The coloring is a bit dark for your skintone, but I agree with the woman who bought them that you should wear green- for your eyes, yes?. We can lighten the fabric a few shades and it will look lovely on you."

Harry blinked, turning Fleur’s words over in her mind until her face lit with joyful surprise. "Are you going to alter the robes into a dress?"

"It is not a problem, is it?" Fleur asked with a small smile.

"No!" Harry shook her head vigorously as a smile of her own split her face. "I just didn't expect you to know how to make clothes."

"Indeed. I have not worn clothes as-purchased in four years, and have altered them on my own nearly as long. My Maman taught me." Fleur then flicked her wand at the wardrobe, which released a cloth-covered mannequin. "Now, hold very still so I can adjust the dressform to your measurements."

Harry nearly asked what she meant, but Fleur's face had already taken on a look of deep concentration as she waved her wand in intricate patterns in absolute silence. A tap of her wand to Harry's left shoulder was followed by a tap to the left shoulder of the dressform. Harry watched in awe as Fleur continued to touch her wand to different parts of her body before, apparently, telling the dressform to mimic it and the mannequin shrank from Fleur's long, elegant curves to Harry's smaller and more angular shape. Once the shaping was complete, Fleur cast a final spell over the dressform to ensure it held its shape until she changed it again. 

"Give the robes to Gabrielle," Fleur ordered. "First I will cast illusions so that you may choose a style you like before we alter any fabric." Harry expected Fleur to cast on the dressform again, but instead she pulled her over to a full-body mirror positioned against the wall. "Now, we said about three shades lighter. And the robes are quite plain, so perhaps some beads or lace?"

As Fleur spoke, she cast over Harry's reflection in the mirror and shaped the image of a gown. Harry couldn't help but grin widely at the look as Fleur made small adjustments. 

"So, Harry," Fleur began carefully. "Why did you want a dress for the ball? Apart from thinking that it would be _neat_."

Harry blushed, but Fleur's smile was kind and indulgent, and any teasing that came through felt friendly. It was a significant change from Fleur's somewhat frosty public demeanor - the only side of her that Harry had seen until Sunday. 

"Are you a girl, Harry?" Fleur asked when Harry took too long to respond.

"I-"

"Our Papa's family thought that he was a girl, when he was quite young," Gabrielle cut in excitedly. "Grand-mère says that he was ten when he told her otherwise."

"Whoever you are, Harry, it's perfectly okay," Fleur added warmly before turning a slightly sharper eye on her sister. "But Gabrielle, you know better than to speak of Papa that way without his permission."

Gabrielle nodded, contrite, and spoke what Harry assumed was an apology in French while she organized her thoughts. "I just dunno, yet,” she said finally. “If I'm a girl, I mean. I don't think I'm a boy, but what does it really mean to be a girl? And then I found a book in the library that says there's apparently more options than just two, but- I definitely think I _lean_ that way, you know? And wearing a dress to the ball - looking pretty - it's something I want to try."

Fleur nodded in satisfaction, and Harry saw her direct a wink towards Gabrielle before the younger girl perked up happily, leaving Harry to wonder if the conversation about their father had been planned. For what? To make her more comfortable? Fleur consulted Harry on a few more adjustments to the image in the mirror before Harry continued. "I've started thinking of myself more and more like a girl and it feels nice but I'm not totally sure yet. And I haven't told anyone else yet - not even Ron and Hermione, my best friends. I do think eventually, I’ll want other people to think of me more like a girl, like I do. I just don't want to deal with… _everyone_ before I know for sure, you know?"

Fleur nodded and hummed. "I saw in your paper, an article about you and your friend after the first task, saying you had found love. But you have said you don't have a date to the ball, and I’ve heard that Viktor is showing interest in her. I understand your concern. You needn't worry, though. Your secret is safe here. I will tell no one, and Gabrielle _does_ know how to be discreet. The whole of the carriage is protected from those who would listen in at doors or windows, as well."

Before much longer, Fleur was evidently satisfied with the design - and with Harry's reaction to it. She froze the image on the mirror in place, and directed Harry to relax while she threw Harry's robes over the dressform and began the alterations. "Will you wear a heel?"

Harry's eyes widened dramatically, and Fleur laughed gently. "Only short ones, and charmed for both comfort and balance."

"It's just that I hardly know how to dance," Harry admitted with a grimace. "It seems like I shouldn't make the job any harder."

"We must practice, then!” Fleur said earnestly as she made a cut with her wand. “The gown will make you look elegant, but you must maintain that image in the way you move. I will order the shoes for you, and we will arrange a time after they arrive for a dancing lesson with Cedric and Viktor. Gabrielle, measure her, _s'il vous plaît?_ "

Harry could tell when she'd been beaten, and gave in as gracefully as she could. Gabrielle was, after all, already taking measurements of her feet to ensure the shoes were the proper size. 

"Are you going to be the one to lead or follow?" Cedric asked Harry. 

All four champions had gathered in the spacious exercise room aboard Durmstrang's ship for dancing practice at Fleur's behest. Once they had the room to themselves, she'd presented Harry with a pair of heels - gray, and just one inch with a strap across the foot so that Harry didn't have to feel like she was going to lose them - and a black skirt in the same shape as the lower portion of her new gown. "You must practice moving in what you'll be wearing to the ball," she'd told her. Fleur was dressed similarly, with heels that were much higher and thinner than Harry’s, so she hadn't argued.

"I don't… I'll be asking a girl, so she'll probably expect me to lead," Harry told Cedric after a few moments’ thought.

"Maybe you should practice both ways?" Cedric asked her with a knowing grin. Harry flushed in mild embarrassment but nodded. 

The lesson began with a demonstration from Fleur and Viktor, who both had extensive experience with ballroom dance. Cedric was competent enough, but even he welcomed the practice after seeing the way those two moved across the floor. Harry thought she might prefer another dragon, but she was a Gryffindor so when Fleur took Cedric's hand and directed her to take Viktor's she didn't argue. She wasn’t going to let a dance win, no matter how intimidating it was.

Viktor danced much more slowly and simply with Harry than he had with Fleur, and she couldn't help but be grateful. 

"Raise your chin," Viktor told her, only a bit gruffly. He never spoke much to her, but since Fleur's comment Harry had noticed him in the library with Hermione more and more, and they often nodded to each other. "It is my job to know where we are going. It is yours to look at me and trust."

"Trust?" Harry asked nervously. 

Viktor nodded once. "Trust that I will guide you - will keep you from running into the walls or tripping over rugs. I have the experience."

Thinking back to his dance with Fleur Harry could hardly doubt that, so she closed her eyes, took a breath, relaxed her shoulders, and practiced _trusting_. 

Once Harry could follow Viktor at speed, he let go of her to stand side-by-side. "Now you must learn to lead - to be the one watching."

Being the one responsible for directing her partner around the floor was even more nerve-wracking now that Harry had gotten accustomed to trusting Viktor, but he demonstrated the basic pattern of steps to her so she could get used to doing things in reverse. They started slowly, gradually speeding up until Harry was ready to dance with Fleur and lead.

"I cannot follow," Viktor admitted when Harry looked to him for guidance. "A dancer who does both is not common. You are doing very well."

The night of the ball, Harry found herself once again in Fleur's room. Getting there unseen had been simple enough with her dad’s cloak, but she did wonder if Ron would think she was ignoring him on purpose. Gabrielle was helping with the ties on the back of the dress - corset _style_ , Fleur had told her, without any real constriction so that Harry wouldn’t be uncomfortable - while Fleur was demonstrating the wand movements and incantations for some very basic cosmetic charms. Harry had agreed to have her hair grown out for the night with a potion and Fleur had done it in an artful pile of braids on the top of her head that Harry doubted she'd ever be able to imitate, if she kept the length. She hadn't yet decided if she'd cut it in the morning. Harry glanced at her reflection in the mirror, and her breath caught in her throat. It was like seeing the illusion that Fleur had created but _better_. A warmth bubbled in her chest - a feeling of _comfort_ that was at odds with the unfamiliar clothing and made her want to laugh in delight. 

People’s eyes widened dramatically and mouths dropped open as Harry passed by in her dress. People did double-takes. It made her self-conscious, but Harry’s hope of returning to the Gryffindor common room under her dad's cloak had been dashed when Fleur had threatened fiery retribution if she messed up her hair. 

Everyone would see soon enough, anyway. 

Each time Harry passed a reflective surface, she caught glimpses of herself. Layers of emerald green and dove gray fabric that swished around her ankles, sleeves that widened to bells around her wrists, bright green eyes that stood out with a light application of kohl and temporary reprieve from glasses. Lovely. _Elegant_. She held her head higher. She was more than just pretty. She felt beautiful, and the click of her heels on stone as she walked felt _powerful_. By the time Harry reached Gryffindor tower, she'd forgotten all about the people staring. 

"Bloody hell, Harry," Ron said when he saw her. "No wonder you disappeared with the girls." Harry crossed her arms and raised a challenging eyebrow. Ron had a tendency to stick his foot in it, so she'd give him a minute to adjust to her - admittedly unexpected - appearance before taking what he said to heart. She felt too good right now for anything else. "I guess, if it's what you want… Good for you, mate. You still look like a girl, though."

Harry gave half a smile. She'd take it. 

Parvati, Harry's date, came down the girls' stairs at that moment, pausing just slightly before taking Harry's arm.

"You look good," Harry told her. It was true. Harry had learned a fair bit about fashion from her meetings with Fleur - there had been several fittings for the dress - and the bright colors that Parvati wore complimented her well. Harry could see and appreciate the effort that Parvati had put into her appearance for the night. 

"So do you," Parvati answered without pause. "I bet your hair took _ages_."

Once the ball began, Harry found herself unendingly grateful for the dancing lessons Fleur had insisted on and the practice she'd done since. Each of the champions took a turn dancing with her after they’d all finished the opening dance with their own partners, and Harry flushed with pride when she was able to guide Fleur across the dance floor without a single mishap immediately after being twirled about by Viktor. 

Harry’s cheeks hurt from smiling. She was breathless from laughing. In the end, Harry didn’t dance nearly so long or so enthusiastically with Parvati as Hermione did with Viktor, but she did enjoy standing side by side with her date and teaching the other girl to lead as Viktor had taught her. People stared, but for once Harry found herself unbothered. Let them stare. She looked great, and she was _happy_.

The music transitioned from ballroom dances to what could pass for modern rock - Harry had never heard the Weird Sisters in her life, but Lavender told her during a punch break that the members had graduated Hogwarts just the term before they'd all started. 

Parvati took another swallow of her punch. "I didn't expect you to wear a dress, Harry. You look _great_ , of course!"

Harry grinned. "All thanks to Fleur. It's something I'm trying. I'm not ready to say more than that yet."

"Alright," Parvati said with a nod. "If you want to learn more cosmetic spells, I'd be happy to teach you. It's just that I've noticed you're only using simple ones right now, and if that's all you want then that's obviously fine but if you wanted to learn more-"

"Parvati," Harry said, cutting her rambling off with a slight chuckle. "That'd be nice, thanks. And maybe I could take a proper look at some of your magazines?"

"Ooh!" Parvati squealed. "We could make a proper night of it! Makeovers and everything! Harry, have a slumber party with Lav and I!"

Harry blinked. "And Hermione?"

"Sure, if she wants," Parvati shrugged easily. "She's never wanted to before, but maybe she'll be more interested if you're there. Ooh, it'll be so much fun!"

As Harry let herself get swept away in Parvati's idea, she had to agree. This could be fun.


End file.
